“Hey, c’mon now. Don’t knock sloppy squash seconds until you’ve tried it, pal. Adopt, don’t shop, right? My goofed-up gourds still have a lot of love to give. You don’t need to be popping some poor pumpkin’s cherry with your big carving knife, anyway. Pervert.” Performed by u/Heavensizeseven Written by u/emosquid23 Edited by 'The Porn Editor'