Being reunited with Cassidy is always a comfort, but sometimes he can see right through you. Contains: Comfort, Advice, Feelings, Petnames (Sweetheart, Darling, Honeysuckle) Interestingly enough, self assessment and being present in oneself is something that I've been trying to work on recently, so I kind of used Cassidy as a mouthpiece for some of the thoughts I've been having regarding it lol. I hope others find this as a comfort! I also hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season no matter what you do and don't celebrate. ~Audio Transcript Below~ Cassidy: Hey Sweetheart! *sighs* Oh, it's been a while, ain't it? *pause* I missed you too, Darling........ How've you been? *pause* Good? *pause* Sorry...I just......lookin' at you.....you seem like you're really stressed and......tired.....exhausted even....... Has work been.....hard? *pause* You don't know? Well.....anything particularly bad happen recently? *pause* Have you had a moment to kind of.....do some self assessment recently? *pause* It just seems like you've been......going through the motions of it all....... Just.....doing what you think you're supposed to be doing instead of......figuring out what you want to be doing...... *pause* I know it's not that easy........and....I'm not saying that you have to have it all figured out......but sometimes we find ourselves almost.....turning off our brains just so we can get through the day.....and then once we turn our brains back on we look around and realize just how exhausted we are.......or how mired into something we've become..... It can be hard to know when to get out..... *pause* Sometimes it's easier to just shut everything off and go with the motions......I can attest to that......but after a while.......it really gets to the point where you have to ask yourself, "Am I going through the motions because it makes my life easier......or am I going through the motions because this is making my life miserable.....and I don't want to be present for it.....or I don't want to face the reality that I want out of this or I want it to change.....and I don't know how......? *pause* Shit....fuck....I'm sorry.....C'mere...... *hushes* If I'd've known I was gonna hit the nail on  the head this hard, I wouldn't have said it quite like that....... It's alright, Honeysuckle.......I've gotcha....... *pause* That.....really hit home for you, didn't it? *pause* I know I've been gone for a while....I'm sorry that you're doing so poorly..... Me not bein' here probably didn't help at all, did it? *pause* I know it's not my job to keep tabs on your personal well-being Sweetheart.......but I want to do it regardless...... It's easier when it ain't yourself........ And I know you don't like the idea that you're bothering me with your problems, but I swear to you Darling, it ain't no bother...... *pause* I do believe that a chunk of this is something that you have to work out for yourself though....... *pause* I think sometimes, once we get to a certain age......we stop being introspective.....you might think that you have everything worked out......but the thing is......there ain't really anyone who does have everything worked out.....and if they say they do.....they're lying...... It's part of the human experience......not having everything figured out.......and......like I said you don't have to have everything figured out. I don't know when in this society, 'having everything figured out' became a sign of adulthood and worth, but it's a goddamn lie. *pause* I blame the invention of capitalism..... *chuckles* There's a laugh...... *soft kiss* *pause* I think what I mean by all this is that self reflection is a good thing......it can help you get out of a rut. You could be in some shit and think everything is fine, but then once you put your focus on it, it turns out, "no, actually, this sucks and I'm having a terrible time." Being present with ourselves can be uncomfortable.....because it forces us to face things we might not want to face. It's easier to think about the future sometimes, the stuff you want to eventually do or the things you eventually want to be. It's also easier to dwell on the past, on the 'I should haves' or the memories of things we perceive as a better time. I feel like we can sometimes neglect our own needs because we're so focused on everything else. It takes effort to sit with yourself and assess, "how am I doing, and if that's bad, what can I do to change that?" And you can't change everything at the drop of a hat, I think that's where people get messed up too. They find out they don't like a lot of things about their life and decide to drop everything and do shit like, quit their job to travel the world. Which, I will admit sometimes works, but what's more realistic is finding the little things you can change. Being present can help you with the immediate needs in your life. It's like when you realize you haven't had water in a while and your body suddenly craves it and you swallow down a whole glass like it's nothing. We ignore the present because we're always supposed to be striving for more, more, more. Always looking on the horizon for new upcoming opportunities or dreams, which in the grand scheme of things isn't necessarily bad, but the hyper focus on it isn't great. Once again I blame capitalism...... *pause* Let me posit this to you for a sec....... If you're having a rough time sleeping because of deadlines, and you stay up trying to meet those deadlines just in case you don't have time in the future......then you're just going to make yourself more exhausted.....and therefore the work you're doing will suffer..... Sleep and rest are important parts of the working process believe it or not....... There's no need to 'always be on the hustle' or 'working the grind'...... People don't understand what grinders do. They wear things down until there's eventually nothing left.......that's what they're doing to themselves........ Taking the time to be present in yourself and assess your current needs will help in the long run for your future goals too......you can't run the race if you're too exhausted to lift your feet....... *pause* *chuckles* I know....I'm full of metaphors today, ain't I? *pause* *sighs* It just hurts to see you like this, Sweetheart...... You're so tired......and I feel like you inherently know why you're tired and unhappy........it's just scary to address it..... I know what you're feeling.....I really do.....and I've found that checking in with my present self, even if it's only for five minutes.....drastically helps myself and my mindset..... It might also lead you towards things that are more or will be more important to you...... *soft kiss* You don't have to do it now.......but I would really, really encourage you to sit down with yourself and have a conference........figure some stuff out..... Now, however? I think you need a nap, and I'm sure cuddling with your sweetheart will help with that...... *soft kiss* Anytime, Sweetheart.......it's almost always easier for someone outside of your own brain to see things that you might be missing. Doesn't mean that you're a bad person .....just means you need help.....and there's no shame in that...... C'mon now, there's a comfortable bed with your name on it, and I'm gonna make sure you get there...... Let's go, Honeysuckle.........