I know, Darling, I know. Everything is too much, but I'm here for you. Contains: References to physical and emotional pain, Comfort, Encouragement, Petnames (Sweetheart, Darling) This was sort of a stream of conscious thoughts about what I was feeling and what I wanted to hear while I was recovering from my wisdom tooth surgery. There were parts that were definitely bad, and I was feeling pretty low mentally and physically, but I'm on the upswing now, I can eat a squishy bread roll now! But I figured this can be used for anyone who might be hurting, physically, mentally, emotionally or any combination, and I tried to write it in a way that was comforting, but also vague enough that it can be applied to more people, I hope that you all enjoy! ~Audio Transcript Below~ I know that you're hurting Sweetheart....and whether it's physical or emotional or anything else of the sort.....know that I'm here for you.....and it will not last forever.... I know you're frustrated and uncomfortable and feel like you need to claw a way out of your own skin, and that's understandable..... You're frustrated beyond belief at the limitations that have been put upon you by your own body, your own mind. You don't have to keep everything locked inside, you're allowed to express your feelings. You don't have to carry the burden in silence under the pretense of being, 'strong', even if what happened to you was done voluntarily. You had no idea what was going to happen on the other side, where you are now. Even if you had a basic idea, you didn't know everything....it's not your fault that you're feeling this way..... You're fighting with yourself....I can see that....the anxiety in your brain that tells you that you need to get over it.....that no one wants to hear about the pain that you're in......and how it's affecting every facet of your life.....but you understand that you need time, to parse things out.....and to genuinely heal. It makes you feel almost useless, doesn't it? Unable to perform what others perceive to be the most simple of tasks. How they expect you to get over it....to heal in such a short amount of time and get right back to it, as if nothing had happened in the first place. People ask how you're doing, and even though nothing has changed or if something has gotten worse you're expected to smile and say, "I'm doing alright" or, "getting better!" You don't have to be that way with me, Darling.....I may not know precisely how you're feeling, right now, in this moment.....but I know it isn't good......You don't have to pretend..... It's as if there is a scream building up inside you.....and at any moment.....if one more thing goes wrong, it will be unleashed and you'll lose every single ounce of your sanity, and you fear you'll never be able to get it back....... Everything just feels like it's so damn hard doesn't it? You're not a failure.......I want to say it again.....along with the fact that you're fully justified in feeling this way.....what happened to you was major.....and even though you went into it willingly......this.....this how you're feeling right now, is not what you signed up for...... It's alright to misjudge things......it's alright that you feel like you made a mistake.....but you are going to get through this.... However, things might not go completely back to normal......and that's something that I think you're afraid of as well.....that you're going to be permanently changed, and for the worse, and you were the catalyst that caused it in the first place......but honestly I just think that's your anxiety talking.....plus the pain........whether it the physical, emotional.....or anything outside or in between or both..... You just want to curl up into a ball and make the world go away.....it feels like if you hear one more person say, 'Oh don't worry, it won't last forever, you'll feel better in no time' and other platitudes like that you're going to tear your own hair out of your head.....because while they mean well---and this includes me as well---they don't actually know how you feel in this moment, how you've felt for this past while.....and it's eternally frustrating...... I'm sorry......I'm sorry that you're feeling this way......and, I'm sure that me pestering you and asking you how you are isn't helping that much either.....but I want to make sure that you don't fall down the rabbit hole of yourself.....because it's a dangerous and fairly easy slope to slip down......and I mean 'you' as in 'humans'.......in times of great distress and discomfort and depression and anxiety....it's easy to spiral......it's easy to dismiss progress.....so that's what I'm trying to do.....have you focus on yourself.....really focus......and take note of how you're doing. Do you need meds, do you need food, do you need water? Do you need to sleep, or take a break? Take things slowly......I know it's frustrating and hard, all of those things.....but they'll only get worse if you don' try..... So please, Sweetheart, I'm going to ask you again.......How are you feeling? Really take a moment, close your eyes if you have to.....and take stock of how you're feeling.....physically.....and mentally.....make note of the changes....of the good and the bad.....you don't even have to think about what you can do to change them.....just please....take a moment.....breathe...... *long pause* And I know this is cliché.....and probably the last thing you want to hear but.......you will get through this.....this pain......it will end......and I'll be here to help however I can...... I love you, Darling.....