Julian's come out of hiding it seems......and he has a lot to say, apparently...... Contains: Apologies, Praise, Confessions, Music NOTE: This is an old Patreon Exclusive audio from 2021 that I've released to the public, so the sound quality along with the character voice is different from current audios! This audio contains the song "Smoldering" by Kai Engel. Usable with the Creative Commons Attribution License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ It can be found here, on the Free Music Archive: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kai_Engel/Chapter_Four__Fall/Kai_Engel_-_Chapter_Four_-_Fall_-_09_Smoldering ~Audio Transcript Below~ Julian: I know I'm.....probably not high on the list of people you want to see right now.....and......you have every right to want me to leave.....however....if you would give me the kindness of.....hearing me out.....just for a little bit....there are....some things I would like to.....talk to you about.....and explain and......also....apologize for...... *pause* .....Thank you........ *deep breath* You have.....shown me so much kindness.....so much patience.....and so much love....even while this country is falling apart at the seams behind a curtain, everyone pretending that everything is completely fine......meanwhile you know the truth and are so entangled in it that you probably couldn't separate from it if you tried...... And yet it has not jaded you.....you have maintained this.....attitude about you that continues to find the good things that are intertwined with the bad.....and you try to bring them to the light....nurture them, and love them until they are more.....stronger than the worst parts...... *pause* I have not been the best man throughout everything that is happening in Vesuvia.....hell....most people blame me for everything....the catalyst which made all fall apart...... ....And I'm not trying to say that I was innocent.......as I said.....I admit that I have not been the best person.....by a long shot......but you stuck by me....when you didn't have to......and....not only that you haven't coddled me.....you haven't put up with any of my.....bullshit.....you haven't.....pulled any punches.....if I was being an asshole and I hurt you...... In the moment.....I didn't understand why I was cruel or pushing you away......well....that's not entirely true.....I knew why, but I didn't want to acknowledge it....I didn't want it to be true....so I.....pushed it into a small box into the darkest part of me and tried to leave it there to rot…... ....I didn't want to admit that I was potentially falling for you......and that while I did first contact you with the intentions of....using your position to find my own answers, I...... I became afraid......and I did the same thing I always do when I'm afraid......I run away.....I try to shut everything down.....I do the opposite of what I should be doing......and in doing that....I did hurt you......and I cannot say how sorry I am that I did.....and how sorry I am that it's taken as long as it has to apologize........ *pause* I've come here today because I have had a revelation, I think.......I don't think I would be able to live in a world.....without you in it......without you....present in my life..... If that means that I must....come out of my hiding and actually do something worthwhile.......love you....support you.....treat you with the kindness and respect I never should have gotten from you.....protect you......if you want it....and you need it......then so be it...... I'm not doing this out of some obligation......I.....realized that.....the path that I was going down before I met you.....it wasn't really living....... *pause* Actually it was you......it was you who made me realize that..... I....wouldn't have a life....without you.....at least not a good one.....and...it's more than likely I wouldn't be alive at all..... were it not for you..... I want to do good by you......do good for you.......because I love you..... I thought....I would be more nervous or afraid admitting that.....and to be truthful I still am slightly afraid..... Originally I thought confessing to you how much I love you would be this......grandiose affair....over dinner or perhaps....some well planned.....careful, something.....I thought I would have a hard time saying it but......it's just a fact of my life......like....the grass is green.......pumpkin bread is your favorite.....the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and I'm in love with you...... I want to make it out of this whole.....terrible....socio political, magical…..bullshit together......because if nothing else......you deserve a happy ending.....and whether it's with me or not.......I will do my best to make it happen.......so I'm with you.....I'm here.....I'm not running away anymore..... You have all of me......however much or little of it you want........ *long pause* *huffs a laugh* I have to say that......there was a big part of me that was not expecting that reaction........but.......I did hold on to some hope....... I wouldn't have before....you know? If I thought it wasn't likely for me to get the answer I wanted I wouldn't have tried.....but......you're worth trying for.......you're worth hoping for....... .....I love you..... May I.....may I kiss you? *pause* *kiss* *softly* Let's go get our happy ending......