Yes, I’m offering you a massage. Yes, I’m serious. Look, “know what I’m doing” would be a bit strong. But I’ve taken a few massage workshops and you, my friend, are quite clearly in need of one. Well…because you look like shit. Sorry, you do. Yes, on the bed. Yes, with candles and oil. And yes. Clothes off. Obviously. It’s only weird if we make it weird. And we’re not going to, are we? We’re both adults. We’re not going to overreact to a bit of nudity or any…involuntary physiological responses. After all, we’re just friends. And friends do whatever it takes to help their friends relax. Shh, it’s just a massage. --- Want to see Lance Briefly in all his glory? Check him out here.