"Sorry, I was a bit surprised by your arrival. Please come in while I get the money. I apologise for not having pants on. My wallet's around here somewhere. Here it is, on this table. Let me bend over to pick it up. I'm sad my boyfriend stood me up. I was prepared for a fun night. I'm even lubed up. Look how ready I am. If someone wanted to, they could have their way with me easily. Especially while I'm bent over like this..."