Your Dad's Funeral is the last place you want to be today - and you contemplated not coming at all. He had an Olympic medal in not showing up for you - why show up for him? Well… you've never been like him, so there's no point in starting now. When you finally meet his best friend, you want to hate him. He says your father sent him to "take care of you" - like he's ever taken care of anything. Not your mother. Not his responsibilities outside his job. Definitely not you. Why would this guy be any different? A friend of an asshole isn't any better… right? DISCLAIMER: This script is written about adults, by an adult, for adults!!! Anyone under 18 has no business reading, performing, or interacting with any of my scripts! I (the author) nor anyone voicing the script condones the actions of this script in real life! This is purely a FICTIONAL FANTASY. This script is especially taboo, so read/listen at your own discretion!! There is mention of parental death, but the cause and details are extremely vague - only the mention of him being "sick". The Speaker and Listener have also never met before this script, so there is no implication of grooming! All credit for the script to u/GildedGorgon