All improv. No script. Just me getting myself all riled up while recalling a former long-distance relationship and needing to masturbate in order to get through the feelings. What else is there to do when your former flame is married now, and all you have left is the memories you shared? Settle down with me and pretend we’re on a phone call. I’m feeling chatty and want to tell you all about why I was so fucking horny.