I know how it must feel. You're going out with a guy, third date, he tells you he has a dog dick. I didn't expect you to call me again after that. Fourth date, he comes up to your apartment, sleeps over, tells you he's a virgin. I didn't tell you about being a virgin because... I don't want you to treat me like a charity case, feel bad for me, right? I just wanted to be sure you were really into me.