A long and intense podcasturbation, intended for serious masturbators only. I ruminate on the loneliness of the long-distance masturbator, and his preference for solitary masturbation. Thoughts on secret embarrassing things we like to do when alone such as (attempts at) self-sucking, tasting our semen, silly wanking postures, penetrating household objects, thrusting, and confessing. [mast] [masturbation] [ramblefap] [gooning] [orgasm] [chronic] [edging] [moaning] [pathetic] [embarrassing] [penis] [stupid]